Phenomenon

It gets him, it gets him constantly around the clock. Possesses him like an evil spirit. curiosity does. It isn't a squealing faucet, as there is no metal involved. What about heat? Yes, but one got to be an alien to gush 160° F hot water for flat 45 seconds 13 Fl Oz, from their body. Not just that, but it also takes yards and yards of the length of metal pipe for that high-definition sound effect. Or it got to be Amy peeing in a dingy, lousy, NY dorm when Allan first bonked her. Or Emily peeing in her Chicago condo right after the mid-June summer smash followed by a bang Or Sara woke in the middle of the night and shagged him then went to pee in his bathroom. Allan earwigged them all and the pink pee melody got ingrained in him forever.   

There is no single overarching principle that possibly connects the phenomenon that is common to both physics and biology. Physics -  Allan drilled down reading at least a dozen plumbing manuals to see what causes this whoosh from a human body, male body, 5'11 tall male with a thick handlebar mustache, and deep baritone-voiced body. He couldn’t chase biology not just because he is an Engineer by profession but also because the cock is called a phallus in biology. He didn't give a shit about skimming his girlfriend's "Campbell biology, 11th edition" as he already knew the cunt is called vulva in that paradigm. 

The source of the noise and the name of the body is Ted! The phenomenon is unknown and unclear - and that is the whole point, paramount to be precise. For Allan, he has been co-peeing with Ted, ever since that sucker was onboarded to his team. Eerily enough, at least almost every time he went to pee, he saw Ted peeing already placing his palms on the wall and almost in a trance, whispering something, whistling in ecstasy, as though he was Cumming. Mind, his hands were free! He was secretly nicknamed "hands-free" for his pee behavior.

Every single time he peed, he sounded like Amy Or Emily, Or Sara WTF?! Why? What on earth can make someone like Ted pee as loud as those three bitches with that eerily odd squeal? unable to figure out peeping over the urinal divider. Scott was 5.01', and Tim was too. He peeped both their cocks over the divider with no specific standouts in those other than one pointing 10 degrees off to left vs the other to the right, at times even 30 degrees. He doubted some SOBs even manipulate that to look cool to their partners.

Whenever Allan went out of his mind, the one thing he yelled mentally was -

"Dude, I ain't looking to muffle it. I just need to know why! Coz with UTI, you can't be peeing this bitchy loud and yet whistling & humming in euphoria. Rather, you would drip every drop of your pee to death"

But since Allan is no taller than Ted and levels him in terms of height, there is no way he gets a cue to figure out what the heck was going on there. The botheration was so heavy that it gave him sleepless nights, and started haunting him in bed with erectile dysfunction.

He peed over and over again next to Ted -  Right after meetings, right before lunch, right before hopping in his car to leave for home. Every single time he peed, Ted peed as loud and as high-decibel-squealing as hot water faucets in winter and as melodious as those three bitch Xs when they peed in the commode after a bang. Ted went on to pee whistling, humming "Baby one more time" and a few more of his favorite tunes pee after pee.

He lost all the battles guessing the phenomenon and the whole war with Ted.

Right after one fine Friday morning meeting, whistling "Baby one more time, Ted walked straight to Allan and went -

"sap buddy, you wanna know? I got four hog eyes, not just one. I even have micro-clitoris on each one of'em" and burst into thunderous laughter.

That night, untying Allan, Hazel whispered into his ears -

"Bisexuality is not real. It's just a fantasy"

Being a biologist, she takes everything literally. Or at least sounded like it when she said that. 

But the phenomenon is real though!